• Location:
  • I am looking for:
  • Zip Code:
  • Age:
  • Height:
    6 ft. 1 in.
  • Body:
  • Ethnicity:
  • Education:
    Bachelors Degree
  • Job:
  • Has Kids:
    Yes, living elsewhere


Caveat Lector: Along with the usual baloney, this profile may contain elements of mature subject matter and wry humor (unsuitable for some adults), mathematics (unsuitable for liberal arts majors) and nudity, sexuality and coarse language (unsuitable for children). Viewer discretion is advised.
Though ladies here seem searching for "an elegant and caring man", I am a single narcissistic bipolar sociopathic psychopathic schizophrenic financially and emotionally unstable insecure over-the-hill downwardly-mobile despicable deranged felonious phony crass obnoxious uneducated boorish unintelligent illiterate heavily-tattooed alcoholic smoking tobacco-chewing drug-addicted scruffy lying lazy unemployed dead-beat drunken filthy old bum always on the lookout for a free meal ticket from or take advantage of any available vulnerable lonely insecure lady with extremely low self-esteem.
Self-supporting, have my own 1978 Ford pickup truck (in which I live with my 6 hound-dogs). Being the ultimate handyman, I can even put the seat down and replace paper on the roller. Am God's gift to women (assuming God has a warped sense of humor). I like sensitive emotional movies that bring tears to my eyes. (Hey... You didn't hear me say that and even if you did you can't prove it!) Widowed from a long and wonderful marriage (which made me a better person than I was) I have at long last adapted to becoming self-sufficient (living on junk-food) and being alone without being lonely. (Probably a delusion, as primates are social creatures.)
I detest classical music, museums, art galleries, opera and uppity political and intellectual dilettante discourse. Am politically neither right nor left, just whatever makes sense without labels. Am not a racist, I hate everyone equally. Enjoy the finer things in life, beer and peanuts. Friends and family mean a lot to me (only if they pay my bills). Thanks to terrible eating habits, hatred of exercise, lousy genes, disregard for doctor's advice and possibly senile dementia I am often told I look and act much older than my age. Being a proudly ignorant backward superstitious peasant, I embrace the latest in societal views that women should be seen and not heard, not allowed to drive or vote and be kept barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I still believe in chivalry, I will gladly throw your coat on a puddle to keep my shoes dry!
Am seeking a good woman who can stand my company, provide alibis, post bail-bonds, has a fenced-in yard for my 6 hound-dogs (but I could chain them to your front porch railing), dig worms, bait hooks, unhook, clean and cook fish and owns a good fishing boat. (Please send photo of boat.) Must love Aardvarks.

What I am looking for

Failing that (serious?) criteria, the love of a lady who is reasonably physically attractive with an eternally young and inquiring mind who appreciates and values true love and loyalty, classical/opera arias, best pop/film scores, folk, ballads or totally silly stuff like Rocky and Bullwinkle and even the smallest gifts of life which often go noticed.
Thank you for your interest and patience, my apologies for having perhaps the worst profile you have had the misfortune to read here and (apart from above?) "Don't believe everything you see on the Internet". (Abraham Lincoln)
May you find happiness and your dreams be fulfilled, Namaste _||_